So it REALLY was the Blue Loo & p.s Stalking is the new black

I had some time to think, or dwell, on why it didn't work out with the last guy.
& as much as I don't want to admit it, it may have something to do with the Blue Loo curse.. I mean aside from him being a jerk.


I have mentioned the blue loo & how every guy who uses it either ditches me or never speaks to me again, so no wonder it didn't work out.
I am never letting a guy go to that toilet ever again, I don't care if you shit yourself. I don't care if you have to go outside & pee in the garden, because obviously if you use the toilet I won't be seeing you again.


It's funny the things parents say, my dad just asked me the other night what happened with the "kiwi" I'd gone out with. I was a bit vague & said it didn't work out. His comment was "yeah no wonder it's because he had a secret wife & kids in NZ, I told ya so".. what the?


Yes.. that's why it didn't work, although with my track record the truth in that is quite possible.


In the next few weeks I will working on drinking a lot of alcohol & finding someone else to fall in love with (temporarily of cos, as I'm waiting for Luke Perry).


Last night I decided to go drinking, for a stupidly loud person sober, I manage to get even louder when I'm drunk. But no doubt I was myself, a stupid smart arse.. & charmed another "victim" & scored a number.. so no doubt he will also have a secret wife & kids in NZ & I'll have another blog entry.


I also got a text last night from a FB friend asking if I really was at The Lass.. haha I guess my FB check-ins are a little all over the shop. Lets just say I honestly don't spend ANY time at "Bikini Island Charlestown Square" for obvious reasons.


Sometimes I check into Henny Penny at midnight.. I mean c'mon I'm a fatty at heart but I'm not at Henny Penny at midnight. (despite the fact it's closed by what 10pm)


I started checking in to random places as a joke.. & mainly to prevent stalkers. As there was once a guy... who liked to conventiently "show up" to the places I was checked into. So thanks FB for making stalking acceptable behaviour.


I mean I at least stalk in private & just look at posts & pics etc. Which is totally acceptable. I don't rock up at the movies or a restaurant because someone's there. (although if I was friends with Luke Perry & he was in Newcastle I'd be there)


I have had a few stalkers.. & I'm sure I've done weird shit, like write love letters & poems to the boys in highschool who didn't love me.. haha I mean I never gave them to them .. I wasn't that weird.


A few years back, on my morning Maryland Servo drop in I would have a chat to the guy behind the counter. It was a regular thing for me, I read A LOT of magazines at work. So eventually he started chatting more, and even flirting with me. Which I didn't know what to do with.. who flirts with me? no one decent that's who.


One day I changed my routine & called in AFTER work instead of before (oOoOo I'm a risk taker). So he was knocking off & I just sort of gave him a fake smile as he was walking out. I got my petrol & whatever else & drove off home. Here he was driving behind me. Which was fine.. except then I realised he was actually following me. I live in a dead end street. Surely if you wanted to know where I live you could've asked, or at least made an excuse to speak to me not just try & duck & drive on past me when I pull into the drive way.


Me being me couldn't resist mentioning this the next time I saw him.. "so you often visit dead end streets & do you-turns"? he was super embarrassed.. but hey he asked me out. I didn't have much going on, or any other options at the time so I agreed.


& yup he was weird in person.


We went out twice, once to the movies, & I drove & picked him up. Except he invited me in & I had to meet his parents. This was all a bit much, especially when his mum in her koala embroidered jumper asked me what my favourite colour was as she was crocheting around face washers & would make me some for my glory box.


After freaking out , I realised shortly after a glory box is not a euphemism for vagina. AT ALL. It was still weird though, or maybe it was a nice gesture & I'm weird?


Our second date we went to Wests with some of my friends, and he spent all night in the toilet then told me he had a bad case of the runs & wanted to leave.. if only the Blue Loo was around at that stage, that would've gotten rid of him for good.


I had to spend the next few weeks avoiding the damn servo & going to the newsagent instead. How inconvenient.


He recently tried to add me on FB, I accepted so I could see what he's up too now, turns out he's married with kids.. probably with a whole heap of amazing crocheted face washers. So I had a quick stalk then deleted it, totally acceptable behaviour. Right?