Return of The Mack

So I was on blogcation.

I thought that was only fair whilst I was spending sometime with someone new, dating you could even call it, that I went on a blog break.

Clearly it didn't work out.
Trust me.. I tried I really did. But I came to the conclusion that I actually deserve better then I give myself credit for.

When I stopped looking, I thought I might've found someone. Unfortunately I have this "type" that I can't escape.
Lets refer to them as the "blue collared hunter valley type".

After a few dates, it wasn't clear whether he was interested. He was when communicating with me, via text etc.
But not in person, that should've been my first clue.
In person I felt like the "mate", which sometimes it's nice to start off as friends. But there has to be a little flirting or affection right?
There was none, this should've been my next clue.
Note to self if someone kisses you like they'd kiss their Grandma its time to move on.

Maybe I bury my head in the sand sometimes & hope for the best out of these situations.
Hoping that I've found my happy ending that I keep wanting to find (& failing)

I can't say anything bad, well anything too bad, about this person.
But it was falling back into the same scenario that always seems to happen.
Choosing other things other me. Generally those other things are drinking.

Instead of being the crazy worrying type who thinks the world is going to end if this doesnt work out, yes I had my dramatic emotional moments, but they were actually unrelated to this.
Overall, I was reasonable & relaxed about seeing him & not being my usual stress head.

Even the times I got ditched for whatever reason, I didn't complain about it or make a big deal about it.
& when I had to pay my own way, which is fine I have money, I didn't think anything of it.

Then I had a realisation, I actually don't want to be ditched or be second best, especially over the other option being alcohol.
I also might enjoy having the odd movie ticket bought for me, or the odd dinner out. No doubt I'd return the favour.
When you're dating a girl, aren't you meant to make them feel special?
Why didn't I feel special?

The final straw, when I really went, yup ok Jannah move on.
Is when I was trying to be accepting that the one night, & first night we decided to spend together, he got drunk & ditched me.
He stayed in town with his mates & I came home,by myself, then awoke to the doorbell ringing at 2am & then to the delightful sounds of snoring. 

I shouldn't HAVE to be accepting of that. So I'm NOT going to accept it. 


& I'll move on now. Onto bigger & better. 


I'm also back blogging, & still have plenty of stories to share.