The “I Love You” Guys

Maybe when you meet the “One” you know its love. We all know my first love was Rocky* from Kindergarten & that didn't end too good.

I have struggled with knowing when it’s love. But I also haven’t met the one.  I’ve had guys blurt it out to me way too soon & this freaks me out. I want to fall in love & have it last. Not be over with in a few years or few months. I don’t want to feel hesitant or question things, I want it to be right. I often wear my heart on sleeve, but love isn't something to play games with.

I think that love should be forever, I have loved guys but whether I’ve been “in” love is another thing. There is a big difference. I can care about someone & genuinely have love for them, but that doesn’t mean I’m head over heels besotted by them & in love.

I’ve had guys tell me they love me straight away, after a few dates. FYI- don’t do that. It's scary, especially when it's not mutual & shouldn't you know when the other person is ready for that? Maybe I'm very lovable? I'm not always likable , but definitely extremely lovable.

Throwing the L word around doesn’t do anything for anyone.

When I was about 21, I had a guy tell me on an MSN chat room that he loved me. I didn't know what to say, was he joking? I could only hope so. I think it started from there.. I starting thinking people just blurt this word out without any truth to it, so I wouldn't be saying it.

I was eating Mexican on a third date with a guy and I told him how much I love sour cream (yeah I’m such a fatty). He laughed & told me that’s why he loved me, because I say what’s on my mind. Sure you can admire me for that, but loving me? Really? At least meet my parents & learn my middle name before you declare your love for me. All it did was freak me out.

One guy engraved my name on a pen for me, this was after my constant nagging that I could never find anything with my name on it & I refuse to be Jenny or Jane.
That was sweet. But the card that came with it was the worrying bit. It had only been after maybe two weeks of hanging out. I'm not the love of your life after two weeks??

Another time I had a guy tell me he loved his ex gf, and he realised this during our dinner date. Which I basically spent counselling him over the break up. Emotions run high with the L word & anyone who knows me knows I'm highly emotional without adding that to the mix.

My second boyfriend blurted out, for the first time, he loved me infront of a group of friends at Wests. I didn't know what to say so I said "elephant shoe".


My last boyfriend I cared about very much. I didn’t love all of him though. I loved the idea of him maybe. But the reality of him was very different. It's a bit like Max Brenner really, I mean I love the idea of it but after you actually go there you feel so sick, & its a bit of a let down.


He was smelly & controlling. I didn’t love those things. I did love his friends & family. But I didn’t love that he let his dog sleep in his bed & never washed his sheets. This was not a lap dog either, this was a huge outside play in the mud sorta dog.

I had a reality check the weekend we went away, where I paid for everything including two nights at Star City & seeing Britney in concert. I think he thought he was in for a sexy weekend, then I turned up in my cow print pj’s & whinged that he didn’t want to go shopping with me.  After the spectacular Britney concert we went back to the hotel & I got changed (into the cow pj’s), he ushered me over to a table that had wine & strawberries on it. I bitched that this was a ploy by the hotel to make me pay for extra things I didn’t want, turns out he had ordered them for us as a romantic gesture. Oops, note to self, foot in mouth disease is not accepted as a legitimate reason for being a jerk by everyone else.

The deal breaker though was on the last night, I was so tired, we’d been walking all day, when he thought we’d get jiggy with it & I told him he better hurry up as there was something on tele I wanted to watch & I was super tired so I think I might have even asked “are you done”.
I realised on the drive back home, this wasn’t love. This was me putting up with someone & all their flaws because I didn’t know what else to do.


I let it go, thinking I was just in a stage as things had been crap with work etc. Then when he started talking about getting serious & moving in together etc I knew I had to speak up or shut up.

I wasn’t going to settle for this, to be honest I thought I could do better. He had no real goals. I was going mental being stuck in a situation I wasn’t happy with.


So I ended it. Knowing I hurt someone was a horrible, horrible feeling. Especially knowing he loved me & the feeling wasn’t mutual.



But sometimes I think we need to be selfish when it comes to our own happiness. 


Maybe one day I will fall in love & it will last, but I'm not just going to blurt it out to anyone.