I have often been called judgmental. I wonder if this is a nicer way of saying I'm shallow? I prefer to know it as just having standards, which I really didn't have for a long time. When you are 150kgs its hard to have standards & actually stick with them. I started off with standards, I lost them for awhile.. & then they reappeared.. bit like my belly button really.
Teeth have always been high up on my ladder of standards though. I think that's because it was instilled in me growing up to look after my teeth & brush them regularly. My mum often nagged us about brushing our teeth. I even remember her telling my brother & me if we ever got in a fight, it's one hand over the mouth to protect the pearly whites & the other to throw the punches. Good advice, I'll pass that down to my kids.
Because I always looked after my teeth, I found it strange that other kids didn't. Why didn't their parents make them brush their teeth? I'm pretty sure by the time I was in school braces were actually invented & available. Yet there's still plenty of guys out there with only 3 teeth who have this magnet towards me.
A former boyfriend actually once used my toothbrush. This was disgusting. He was missing teeth at the back (I didn't know this to start with & then when I found out it was too late, now I have teeth inspections on second dates) & he had major coffee stainage on his front teeth. So using my tooth brush was a little too much. I never used it again. I then made sure I had spares just incase this ever happened ever again. I read somewhere once that the mouth is full of germs, more then any other part of the body. As much as I have the clean your teeth rule, I think not using my toothbrush is also important.
I also think showering everyday is important. What the hell I even think if you are dirty you should shower TWICE a day. Why doesn't the male species, or the ones that like me, think this? I often had conversations with my then boyfriend about the need to shower and how this was a necessity in life & along with changing your undies daily, it NEEDS to happen. My message didn't get through. Until I broke it off. He actually send me a text after it ended along the lines of "if you give me another chance, I promise I actually shower & have more pairs of undies now". Nice try but spoon feeding guys about hygiene is not high on my want list.
I think all sorts of hygiene is important, not just brushing your teeth or wearing clean underwear.
The story of Waxgate is a bit gross. But you know, I have to keep it real.
Waxgate refers to Mr Elephant Shoe for those of you following the blog.
He claimed had a condition which lead to excessive ear wax (I never googled this to prove its authenticity). When he stayed over, I would strategically replace the good pillow on my bed with an old one, sometimes with a towel underneath. I think I was paranoid it might start dripping out of his ears onto my nice linen. I am not the most subtle of people when it comes to bringing up sensitive topics. So I just blurted it out one day, I was getting ready to go somewhere & thought ok perfect opportunity to offer him a cotton tip. I attempted a poor segue to the topic.. “I like cotton candy.. do you? Oh look.. a cotton tip, you know you clean your ears out with them”. Apparently this was uncalled for, & it wasn’t too long after this we broke up. I mean it was fizzling out anyway so this wasn’t THE main reason. He was there for me when I had a hospital stay but I guess maybe we realised we were more so friends, not so much “in love”. Ok well that’s what I told him when I ended it.
I think good hygiene often comes down to good common sense. Like the guy who wore his dirty football boots upstairs into my room. The carpet is basically white moron. I spent the majority of his visit with carpet cleaner trying to clean his mess up. Which part of, my shoes are extremely dirty, I'll wear them on the carpet is logical?
Moving onto the saga of the blue loo, this started when I moved over to Shorty being a grown up & all. So being a grown up I was busy cleaning & filled up the toilet with bloo loo & it exploded.. it became quite the focal point of the house & visitors were happy to see the explosion of blue foam up the wall.
However it also had a curse, for those of the opposite sex (straight too I should mention) who visited & actually used the blue loo. It always ended shortly after.
There was NYE Jamal, he once visited me just to use the toilet I’m pretty sure, soon after he told me he wasn’t interested in me, or having a relationship. Turns out he has a new gf now. I assume she doesn’t have a blue loo?
There was The Grump, nothing made him happy, he used the blue loo, for a very long time. I was considering going to ask him if he was ok, had he fallen in or been eaten by the bloo loo foam monster?
There was the prior mentioned "I like you only when I'm drunk on the weekend" guy. He also caught the curse. Which maybe wasn't a bad thing in hindsight.
There was Mr M the teacher from the coast, although he didn't use the toilet, he did laugh at it.. which I think still counts.
So all in all, maybe I will know its real love when a guy really does have good hygiene standards & can use the blue loo & not be cursed and actually see me more then once or twice after using this blue loo. A girl can dream....
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