He's Just Not That Into You

It's pretty obvious when the guy you are day dreaming about is not into you.. or is it? Sometimes I really don't know, they seem keen, then when I'm starting to be keen.. they're not keen. It's this confusing web of back & forth "is he interested in me".


I just want you to not play stupid games & tell me if you are interested in me. Even if something's completely obvious, until you verbally come out & admit it. I probably won't believe it.


I've done plenty of stupid things when it comes to dating. 


Example A: Asking a guy "so what do you want to happen here" , when he was trying to get me into bed. He then proceeded to talk dirty to me. No dear, I mean in the broader scope of things.. what do you want to happen? where do you see this going? Ok so we hadn't even been on a date.. but surely I deserve to know his intentions?


Apparently not. 


One of my favourite movies is "He's Just Not That Into You". I wish every girl would watch this movie & study it & realise yes sometimes we do stupid things, but dating is hard work & if you don't try & actually put yourself out there & take a chance & speak up. How will you ever get what you want?


After all my dating experience it took one movie for me to realise a few pointers & it's really only been this year that I've followed this ideas/rules. (I'm single so it's obviously working haha, but seriously I am HAPPY single, which is what counts)


If he’s not calling/texting you, it’s because you are not on his mind.
Commonsense really. But this can work in the opposite way, because if he's constantly texting you or calling you after midnight. Then yeah you're on his mind, maybe a little too much & from past experiences if you are being contacted after midnight, you probably are on his mind for one reason only (& it's not a deep & meaningful 3am chat)


Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.
Whether it be call me, take me out, pick me up. You only get one chance. 


Remember men are never to busy to get what they want. 'Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
This is evident from calling me at 3am, you are obviously too 'busy' to call me at a reasonable hour. But if you really like me & really want to see me, you will make time for me at a reasonable hour. But I won't be waiting.


Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable.
I totally am. Especially when I'm drunk. You should miss me when I'm drunk. Actually you should miss me every moment you aren't with me, I think?


It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less.
Maybe it's that bad boy with the tattoos & 6 kids with the charm. But no job.. but the cute smile.. but no car & with no personality. Don't "settle". Also remember I have discovered the hard way, you can't change people, you accept them as they are. If someone needs to be changed for you to like them, then that's "settling".


You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another.
As soon as he does something weird, or that you are uncomfortable with. MOVE ON! & get over it quickly.


If a guy punches you or picks on you he likes you. You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
If a guy punches you or calls you names who is over the age of 7, then run away. There is no exception to being with someone who is nice to you all the time. There is no reason for a guy not to nice to you. There is especially no reason for a guy to make you cry for being not nice.


A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.
If he's not calling you. If he's not wanting to see you. Walk away. Don't chase. 


Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you.
The feelings need to be made obvious. Like I said above, I am not a mind reader. I need you to tell me if you like me. If I have to wonder about it & drive myself crazy thinking about what's going on then it's time to walk away.


Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with. 
Enough said. I'm difficult enough, or stubborn maybe. Two of us wouldn't work.




These are my rules I now try & follow.


1. I will not go out with a man who hasn't asked me out first.
2. I will not go out with a man who keeps me waiting by the phone.
3. I will not date a man who isn't sure he wants to date me.
4. I will not date a man who drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable.
5. I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesireable.
6. I will not be with a man who's afraid to talk about our future.
7. I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me.
8. I will not date a man who is married.
9. I will not be with a man who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person. 
10. I WILL accept rejection or that things didn't work & move on.


I have followed through with most of these, when I've felt like I'm wasting my time or I'm questioning if he's interested. I have walked away. 


Perfect example last night during drunken adventures with my school friends, lets call them Romy* & Michelle*. I managed to become the focus of one guys attention. He wanted to dance & flirt & then wanted me to go with him & his friends to another pub. I didn't. He asked if I wanted his number. I turned this around & gave him mine & figured if he's interested he would contact me. He did. Two minutes after leaving he texted me. I didn't chase, I didn't follow. I stayed put. I said I'm not coming to meet you. (Although he kept saying "meat up", & we all know how I feel about bad spelling). I kindly advised him I was staying where I was with my friends & maybe I'd see him at the food joint later on. That happened, we talked some more. But what I learnt was me agreeing to that, and thinking I'd be sharing a pide with the guy, wasn't what he had in mind. I am glad Michelle asked him right up front what his intentions were, was he planning on dating me or taking me out. Although maybe asking him if I could be his date to his brothers wedding wasn't too cool. His intentions were for me to go home with him. I declined. (I mean how would I get home from Belmont haha) He then suggested we sneak off for some alone time. I declined. I'm not that sort of girl & clearly he just wasn't that into me to treat me decently. 


Maybe I should've settled for the other guy who took a fancy to me, he was somewhat retarded, his mum cuts his hair (badly), he had about 5 teeth & was terrible at Karaoke.


I'm looking for my happy ending to find someone great & not to settle. Not some guys happy ending in an alley way, what would he offer to pay me for my services? or we shake on it or hug it out? Then say "call me". Which wasn't going to happen.


So I guess in conclusion, for me...
"maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope"