So WHY are you single??

*note- this blog may be a bit more sentimental etc & not just for the guys to laugh at my bad dates. 

I hate this question. It gets asked often. A lot of the time by “older” generations questioning how I can be 28 & not settled down etc.


Well I had a list going on my Facebook & I think I was up to number 137 at one stage. But really, isn’t being single a choice? I could be in a relationship & be unhappy? I’ve dated my fair share of jerks, who I could’ve stuck with & waited it out just to be “in a relationship”. 


But why would anyone want that? I’d rather be happy single, then unhappy & with someone. I am not bagging out those in relationships, that’s great for you. I’m sure its hard work & there’s good & bad times. I just know that I’m waiting for the “right guy” before I am happy to fully commit to someone. (no not in that sense, I’m not a virgin, sorry) 

There are plenty of reasons why I’m single. I once told my Grandma it was because I was a lesbian & it was hard to find a good woman. And I am pretty sure at some stage my dad might have had his suspicions I am a dyke on a bike. But no need for concern, I am strictly dickly. 

It seems to be an expectation that we find someone , we settle down, we have kids & a mortgage. 

What if I don’t want that? What if I don’t know what I want? 
If the right person comes along, maybe those things might be a possibility. 
But what if I remain happy & single forever? Why is this so frowned upon? 

I have accomplished a lot in the last few years. It’s no secret my main goal in life for so long was to lose weight. Which I am still doing. I was possibly born on a diet. Losing weight doesn’t change who you are on the inside. I am still me, maybe a bit more confident a bit more active etc. 


Deep down, I’m the same person with the same morals & same values. 
I think though being that “bigger” girl who got picked on & hassled, made me so self conscious & scarred me to the point where it is something I focused on. (maybe some days I still do).Considering at age 9 or 10 I was told to lose weight to score a boyfriend, that sort of sticks with you. & really I was told this my whole life. It plants this unspoken seed that I really wasn't good enough unless I was a size 6 bikini model. (umm yes I've admitted finally this won’t ever happen). 

I massively depressed for quite awhile. (those close to me knew this, I tried to hide it to everyone else) I was in a horrible place that took awhile to get out of. 

It took me a long time to realise there are other goals to achieve. Maybe I want to travel? Maybe I want my own unit.. It was only when I realised there were other things in life I wanted, that I realised I was “happy”. Or content might be a better word. 

So back to reasons why I’m single. I will try & be as realistic as possible, but I can’t make promises. You may or may not agree these are good reasons, but I’m being honest & maybe some of you secretly want to have the same reasons or attitude to things. These are no specific order.




I’m opinionated. 
I have an opinion on everything. I won’t agree with you just to save an argument. I think you should be able to argue your point intelligently & agree to disagree. I know I’m not always going to be right, but I like to think I’m right. Do I need to remind anyone I was on the debating team?


I don't shave my legs in winter
No one sees my legs so what does it matter. 


I wear pyjamas in public & sometimes socks & thongs 
I have no shame. I will wear my pyjamas in public if I feel the need. I will wear them all day if it’s possible. I have no problems with wearing socks with my thongs if I’m cold. 



I speak up when something’s wrong. 
I am not a “nothing’s wrong” sort of girl. If something’s up I will tell you. I will make sure you know when I’m mad, I will make it obvious if you’ve done something I don’t like & I expect you to fix it. 


I love NKOTB & my music taste is eclectic & I force people to listen to my choices.
I really do, I listen to them in the car all the time. I appreciate that nobody else (especially straight males) may love New Kids on the Block as much as me. I listen to everything from Fleetwood Mac to Alice in Chains to Justin Bieber. I don't mind if you don't like any of my choices, but remember if it’s my car its my music. 

I don’t fart. 
It’s true. I don’t. I'm like a medical marvel.

I have an obsession with dogs & watching Animal Cops on Animal Planet. 
If I am not doing anything on a Saturday night, this is what I will be watching. With a tissue in one hand & my other hand over my eyes in case I don’t want to watch. I often talk to dogs, stranger dogs with their owners, sometimes I speak in barks sometimes I say hello expecting them to respond. I find this all completely normal behaviour.

I also have an obsession with Law & Order & affiliated shows. 
This probably means I could kill someone & get away with it & represent myself in a “court of law”. 

I am a cheap drunk& I think I’m hilarious 
I’m that annoying girl who gets even louder when they drink & even more annoying. I like to make friends when I’m drunk. I will randomly talk to people. Sometimes about inappropriate things. This is often embarrassing for all involved. Remember the nice French man who is actually Turkish? Well that sort of stuff.

If I don’t like your friends, I will tell you 
I am not rude, I will tolerate people. But if I don’t want to spend every weekend with your best mate & his boring fiancé who wants to talk to me about wedding cake toppers, don’t try & force me. 


I want to hang out with my friends, on my own
I don’t expect a guy to hang out with my friends, they are my friends for a reason. Sometimes I want to hang out with them to get away from you. 


My family is crazy
We all have crazy family members. & if you do I will also tolerate them, but I expect the same in return & my parents take the cake (sorry mum you know you do)


I get fake tans. 
Yup I do. I hate being the pasty ghost looking girl in photos. Especially around Xmas time where there’s parties to go to etc. The only thing wrong with this, is when I do it myself & its patchy & I look like a large oompa loompa trying to get a job at Supre.

I’m selfish. 
I am happy to admit it. I really am selfish. When there are times that I’ve had a boyfriend (yes 3 or 4 times in my life this happened), I refuse to just do what that person wants to do. I don’t want you to come over & lie in my bed & watch Fox Sports. It’s my TV & its my Foxtel so I’m watching The Kardashians. You either watch it or you leave. I care about what I want to do, not necessarily what you want to do. I might come to a compromise, but if I really don’t want to go Paintballing, then I’m not going. 

I rip other people off. 
So this makes me a bitch? Yup. But do I do it to your face? Yup. Therefore its acceptable right? 

I own/watch alot of B grade movies
Movies like Splash & Grease & Mannequin & High School Musical make me happy. Deal with it.


I worry ALOT which can come across needy.
I hate feeling unsure, & not knowing what's happening or where something is going. I worry whether someone actually likes me. I then ask questions & obsess over it. Which then comes across as needy. Yuk. Needy people. Yuk.


I own more shoes then I care to admit
Shoes are the one thing that ALWAYS fit.


I'm stupid & do blonde things
Sometimes I get my words mixed up. Note to self, lesbian & lebanese are two COMPLETELY different things.


My eyes don't work
I can't see to save myself.


I'm crazy
I actually am. Certifiably crazy. This makes me highly emotional & sometimes unreasonable.. also known as "bitchy"


I’m clean 
Enough said really. I don’t want your smelly ass in my clean bed. I don’t want you wearing your dirty shoes on the white carpet. I don’t want you farting in my car or on me. I also don’t want you eating in my car & leaving crumbs (unless I’m also eating then its ok, especially if its ice cream, again that’s ok). 



& the no# 1 reason why I'm single.


& this is a direct quote 


"You have a giant stupid bird tattoo on your back & You will NEVER find a husband with that"


Next time I get asked the question, I now have a huge list of reasons why... not just because "I haven't found the right guy".